I nursed Stella around 8pm and she was starting to doze off. I decided now was a good time to put her in her crib because we was obviously tired.
Lets just say I did a lot of soothing. She didn't fall asleep till 9:30.
I woke up to Stella crying in her crib at 1:30am. Went in patted her back put her binky in her mouth and she fell asleep. I smelt a weird smell but just thought it was our house. Our new house is old and we haven't been here long. It seems like I always smell different things everyday.
I went back to bed and woke up yet again to Stella crying at 3:30am. Went in and tried to soothe her. The smell had turned foul. I noticed her back was wet so I pulled her out to change her and found out she had pooped hours earlier. I had let my poor sweet girl sit in her own filth then let her wet herself which made her back completely soaked. I pulled off her diaper and started to clean her up. I instantly started to cry after seeing how irritated her bottom and back was from my idiot mistake. Her sleeper was hopeless so I threw it out. I had to pull her blanket, sheet, and change table cover off from getting urine all over it.
All I could do was cry and hold Stella. What was I supposed to do now? Put her back in? Take her to bed with me? Now it was approaching 4am. I kissed Stella who was playing with my clothes and smiling back into the crib and left to call my husband. Balling on the phone 10 min later I realized Stella had fallen back to sleep.
The worst mom of the year trophy can be mailed to me. Stella is still in her crib sleeping as I type this. I can't believe I made that mistake. I felt sick to my stomach then and now thinking about it. What was I supposed to do? I didn't want to pull her out and take her to bed with me. If I did that I would be taking 29 steps back. I also feel like she would have thought that night and the night prior she was being punished. I felt like every way I turned was the wrong way. I came unraveled.
Hopefully we get in good naps today and tonight goes smoother. I don't think I can stand another night like last night.
UPDATE:
Stella woke up at 8:00am. Happy as a clam.
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