8.30.2011

I feel like I've hit a wall. It's been a really hard couple of weeks. Auston is gone for work 5 to 7 days in a row in arizona and I'm left to be a single mom. Stella isn't sleeping in her crib anymore and wakes up constantly during the night. It's like a have a newborn all over again except this time I get kicked and punched in the face during the night. I say this next sentence hesitantly. I am feeling so overwhelmed by her. I just want to scream. Where did my baby who slept through the night and in her own crib go? I want to try the crying it out method but by the time I get the strength to do that I'm angry and don't want to make her feel like she's being punished.

She us so attached to me that during the day I can rarely but her done without a melt down. And the truth is I feel like melting down too.

I just feel so frustrated and alone and like I'm failing at motherhood.

The ugly truth.

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